Why is it

That the people in your life who treat you the worst, or would be the first to stab you in the back to save themselves, are the people to preach to you how you should act? I never understood that.
In my life, my own personal life, I have made an effort to welcome everyone, to help whoever I can that needs my help and to be a more open and honest person.

I will say that one other thing I have done is to keep those people who do exactly what I mentioned above, out of my life. For the very reason stated above, I chose to keep a distance from those people. Those people have hurt me in many ways, too many to go into detail.

I made an attempt, a small one, to crack open the door of communication....and bam...it was done again. Why does no one understand that but myself?

We just spent three weeks in church discussing forgiveness. I don't think I'm at that point yet. I understand the steps I need to take, the words I need to find to speak to these people, and I also know how great it will probably feel to tell these people they are forgiven...but I don't think I'm being honest with myself by saying those words.

So I think forgiveness...for me....has to wait.